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Establishing the Right
Point of View: How to Avoid "Stepping Out of Character"
By Marg
Gilks
"Dalquist was shaking with rage, tears streaking down her
face. ‘Get out,' she
whispered. Then she lunged for the other woman, shrieking, ‘Get out! Get out!'
Tamlinn managed to hide her surprise at the doctor's
reaction; she'd expected an angry denial, not near-hysteria. With
an exultant laugh, she dodged Dalquist
and ran for the door to the head. It hissed shut behind her.
Shaking
uncontrollably with the roiling emotions the other woman had dredged
up, Dalquist collapsed onto the bed,
sobbing, and covered her face with her hands."
Yikes! Reading
this excerpt from my first novel now, I'm not surprised that agents
bounced it back to me so fast, the
glue was barely dry on the stamp.
If you can see
what's wrong with this excerpt, congratulations. You understand
point of view (POV). If not, don't feel bad; of all the skills
a writer must learn, maintaining point of view seems to be one
of the hardest. As a freelance editor, I see POV slips in almost
every manuscript I work on. Once attuned to it, a careful reader
will even notice subtle POV switches that slip past editors to
wind up in published novels.
What's wrong
with the above excerpt?
Paragraph one
is ambiguous. Who's the POV character? The tears streaking down
Dalquist's face could be either felt
or seen. Referring to "the other woman" implies that
this scene is from Dalquist's POV.
But then, in paragraph two, we are inside Tamlinn's
head, privy to her thoughts. There is no way that Dalquist
can know what Tamlinn had expected, so Tamlinn
must be the POV character. However, in paragraph three, our POV
character, Tamlinn, has left the room; the door has shut behind her,
leaving the reader behind to see what is impossible for Tamlinn
to see. More, the reader knows not only that Dalquist
is shaking -- something Tamlinn could
have seen, had she stayed -- but that she is shaking because her
emotions are in turmoil. Tamlinn may have suspected rage, but "turmoil"
suggests more. This is Dalquist's
POV.
Every scene should
have only one POV character, and everything must be filtered through
that POV character's perceptions. Only the POV character can know
what he or she is thinking -- he can't know what anyone else is
thinking, so the reader can't, either. The POV character can't
see what's going on behind her or what the person on the other
end of the phone line is doing while they are talking, so the
reader can't know what's going on in those places, either. Keep that in mind -- stay
firmly inside your POV character's head -- and you'll rarely have
trouble with point of view.
But, isn't it
so much easier just to tell the reader what character X is thinking,
rather than trying to show it in ways the POV character (and thus,
the reader) can see and understand? Why stick to the one-point-of-view
rule?
Let's look at
that again, and we'll see a hint: isn't it so much easier just
to TELL the reader what character X is thinking, rather than trying
to SHOW it in ways the POV character can see and understand?
Yup: "show,
don't tell."
"People
become, in our minds, what we see them do," says Orson Scott
Card in his book, Characters and Viewpoint. We believe what we
see more readily than what we're told. And what are readers learning,
watching through our POV character's eyes? They're learning about
the characters. Firstly, they're learning what character X is
like by viewing his actions, and secondly, they're learning about
our POV character by how he perceives character X's actions.
Yup: characterization.
Choosing one
POV character strengthens readers' identification with that character.
The more readers are carried along with that character, the more
willing they are to stay immersed in the fictional dream. There
is nothing more jarring to readers than a switch in point of view.
They must mentally change gears. If readers are tagging along
inside character X's head and then find themselves looking through
character Y's eyes, they're confused. THEY STOP READING to figure
it out. They come out of the fictional dream. Pull another POV
switch without warning, and they may never sink into the dream
again.
Of course you
don't have to tell your entire tale from the POV of only one character,
but each character who takes up the mantle of POV must have their
very own scene -- not merely one paragraph or one sentence
within a scene, but a scene devoted wholly to that character's
POV. And to avoid any confusion, you have to let readers know
right away that they're now tagging along with character Y for
this scene instead of their old pal, character X.
Here's how: first,
tell readers the POV is changing by leaving a blank space between
the end of character Y's scene and the beginning of character
X's, or start a new chapter. Now that readers have been primed
for a change, don't keep them on tender hooks -- tell them who
they're with as soon as possible. Here's an example:
"Lexas didn't turn around. His heart thundered for escape;
could he die of a coronary at twenty? After an eternity, he walked
very deliberately to the door. He heard his mother catch her breath
as if about to say more, then release it unformed.
He
pulled the door shut behind him. His legs went to jelly at the
soft click of the latch.
*
* *
Faeston pushed away from the wall as the queen's door
opened to release Lexas. The prince
actually sagged against the door for a moment, eyes closed.
What
was wrong, Faeston wondered, and put the question into his friend's
name. ‘Lex?'"
There's no confusion
here. We end the first scene in Lexas' head; there's a clear break; we immediately start
the next scene with Faeston.
"Mastery
of viewpoint... requires a fair amount of technical skill,"
says literary agent Noah Lukeman,
author of The First Five Pages - A Writer's Guide to Staying Out
of the Rejection Pile, "thus it is not surprising that many
amateur writers are revealed in this way. Viewpoint and narration
comprise a delicate, elaborate facade, in which one tiny break
in consistency can be disastrous, the equivalent of striking a
dissonant chord in the midst of a harmonious musical performance."
Later, while discussing characterization, he says, "Some
novels end up being equally dominated by several characters; they
keep progressing, and we're still not sure whose story it is,
who we should care about."
We've seen how
point of view strengthens characterization and helps the reader
identify with the character; how it keeps the reader immersed
in the story the writer weaves. Resist the temptation to step
out of your POV character, and you'll strengthen your story overall.
This Article was found at: http://www.articleblast.com/
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